Eunos Chump

I made this, I don't know what to do with it but I liked it at the time. Don't bother praying though, I'm bugger all use in any kind of situation. Unless you've got a requirement for lots of cake and crisps to be disposed of, I'm not your man.

This is an important subject that I've neglected to tackle previously, but I'm putting that right today. In reverse order: 4: Betty Rubble Pros: tolerates stupid men, and will have your dinner ready when you get home Cons: unlike the less attractive Thelma, doesn't appear to go for fat oafs. Will abuse your credit card 3: Tinkerbell Pros: can make your dinner appear instantly using magic Cons: homicidal jealousy 2: Marge Simpson Pros: clockwork dinner provision Cons: extremely promiscuous, judging by the results of Google Images with Safe Search switched off 1: Kim Possible Pros: Slightly better at keeping her clothes on than Marge, it seems Cons: may put the security of the nation ahead of your need for dinner on the table when you get home

I'm able to shuffle about with just a stick now, House style.  This means I can be brilliant, yet grumpy and eccentric, and talk with a pretend accent (I have chosen Wisbech).  This is going to mean changes at work tomorrow, because I'm going to need a team of brilliant, good-looking assistants now (so that discounts all my current colleagues).  There should also be some kind of sexual tension between them (and that definitely rules out the current lot, it makes me ill to think of them admiring each other's trousers).  I shall spend the entire week working on a single problem with my brilliant team, and they'll come up with many brilliant suggestions, but in the end I'll find the problem because I'm just that bit more brilliant and eccentric.  It'll turn out to be a incorrect subnet mask, or a duplex mis-match, because that's as exciting as it gets in IT, unfortunately. The AMF Venner, the despotic central heating controller that's been tormenting t...