House

-
I'm able to shuffle about with just a stick now, House style.  This means I can be brilliant, yet grumpy and eccentric, and talk with a pretend accent (I have chosen Wisbech).  This is going to mean changes at work tomorrow, because I'm going to need a team of brilliant, good-looking assistants now (so that discounts all my current colleagues).  There should also be some kind of sexual tension between them (and that definitely rules out the current lot, it makes me ill to think of them admiring each other's trousers).  I shall spend the entire week working on a single problem with my brilliant team, and they'll come up with many brilliant suggestions, but in the end I'll find the problem because I'm just that bit more brilliant and eccentric.  It'll turn out to be a incorrect subnet mask, or a duplex mis-match, because that's as exciting as it gets in IT, unfortunately.
The AMF Venner, the despotic central heating controller that's been tormenting the whole family for 5 years was finally defeated today.  I replaced it with a nice digital one from Wickes, though I had to use all my House-style nous to figure out the wiring.

Lewis!

Popular posts from this blog

Adding bluetooth to a Mini with Harman Kardon audio

-
Image
My R53 Cooper S has the unexpected bonus of the Harman Kardon premium audio system.  While it has impressive power and sound quality (once you discover the hidden settings ), it's firmly stuck in the past with just CD and analogue radio.  You can't change the head unit as the speakers are all wired to the 10-channel amp that lives in the boot, so new cables would need to be run from the head unit to each speaker, which would be an almighty faff. I wanted to add bluetooth so I could play my cheesy '80s music from Spotify, so bought a Grom BT3  which is a small module that plugs into the CD-changer port on the rear of the standard-fit Boost head unit.  It allows you to stream music from your mobile, and make/receive calls via the supplied microphone.  You can also buy another module that plugs into the Grom to provide DAB radio, USB, or iPod wired connections, I didn't bother with any of those, I just wanted Bananarama, loud. There are 2 versions of the Grom for BMW
Read more

BMW E39 diesel pump replacement

-
Image
I replaced the fuel pump in the tank of the 530D yesterday.  It was quite fiddly and I couldn't find any useful guide on the internet, so I thought I'd create a quick outline of the procedure: Symptoms of failure : poor starting/cutting out when the fuel level falls to around a quarter of a tank. Cost : £42 from GSF , plus 2x 9mm petrol hose clips (the originals are not reusable). Procedure :  remove the rear seat base by pulling up sharply on it's front edge (there are a pair of spring clips holding it in place).  Beneath are 2 access panels to the tank, the pump is under the right-hand side one (behind the driver on a UK right-hand drive car).  Remove the cover and disconnect the 2 hose connections and the electrical plug (removed by pushing the locking clip sideways).  Unscrew the locking ring by gently rotating it with a hammer and chisel. Now slowly remove the fuel sender unit, noting it's orientation and how it slots into the pump assembly below - it'
Read more

MINI tailgate hinge replacement

-
Image
I replaced the snapped tailgate hinge on t'old MINI today, and it wasn't too bad a job.  The design is a bit crap and they tend to seize, and then break and attempt to bonk you on the head with the tailgate.  Didn't like that. The hinge is held on by a single nut but you need to partially drop the headlining to reach it.  To do this you need to: remove the tailgate seal remove the rear seats remove the rear side panel trim on the affected side This is all covered by some helpful folks in this YouTube video.  After this, you need to remove the white C-pillar trim; it's held in by 4 plastic tabs (2 top, 2 bottom), which fit into metal clips in the body.  It needs a sharp tug but there is a fair risk of breaking the tabs, but I got away with it. Now you should be able to gently pull down the headlining, to release the clip in the centre: That should give just enough clearance to get a 13mm socket onto the nut securing the hinge.  There is quite a lot
Read more