Eunos Chump

Kitchen progress remains slow. We've been busy but it's mostly been prepping the floor and walls so there's not much evidence of activity. Wasted this morning chasing about for plumbing bits (but at least that's largely complete now). Walls should be ready for paint tomorrow, then I can get the new floor down. There's been a last-minute change of plan with the dishwasher being dropped for a US-style fridge, which has meant a couple of small changes. I terrified the dog this afternoon when fitting the waste water pipe. He was already spooked when a 2m pipe starting to emerge through the wall... when I started speaking through it ('Jack is a baaad baaaaaad dog') it was all too much and he hid around the side of the house. Not only am I cruel to animals, I've been a tad grumpy with the rest of the tribe this weekend. Think I need another holiday... long weekend coming up! Oh, kitchen... damn.

Back to work today, so I've only had a couple of hours free. All I managed to do was nail down the floor, make a bit of wood to seal around the water pipes, and realised one of the cabinets is wrong. Used the Mazda for work today, it's still the true Ultimate Driving Machine!

Floor is down, and most of the electrics are completed. Back to work tomorrow... nice short 8 hour day, none of this 12-14 hour nonsense the gaffer here insists on. I took the Mazda to Jack Smith Trimmers in Swansea yesterday, he's rebonded the rear window and if it doesn't hold will put on a new hood, free of charge - that's quality service. 500 miles without incident too (apart from the obvious trauma of travelling any distance in a car with rock-hard suspension and a loud exhaust). I was utterly exhausted when I got back and slept for 4 hours.

Even further behind schedule, but at least the floor is almost complete. I'm having trouble finding somebody to fit the worktops now, looks like it's going to be Tuesday before the new sink can be fitted. Bingo has been earning it's keep. Tomorrow I've got a day off, the MX5 is going back to Swansea to have a new rear window fitted. I've got the dump valve on but the bloody thing leaks - air is getting past the piston making the idle extremely rich (with black smoke like the truck from Duel ). Pesky eBay rubbish! I've got the vacuum hose unconnected for now, so it runs and the valve does still work a bit. I don't really need this hassle on top of the 12 hours-a-day in the kitchen though. Looking forward to a nice rest at work next week... my whole body aches, I've got numerous cuts/scratches/bruises, and my fingers are sore from hammering/sawing.

We've slipped behind schedule today, the new floor was supposed to be complete but this is as far as I've got. It took around 6 hours to remove the old floor covering! It was hardboard with lino tiles, and at some point it must have got wet and wrinkly because it had been secured with HUNDREDS of nails. The whole lot came up in small fragments, and we had to yank out all the nails to ensure nobody hurt themselves on them in the interim. New kitchen has arrived and is in the garage, I would really like to get the new sink working tomorrow but it's a tall order. Mazda news - dump valve arrived yesterday, it attaches via an aluminium bung. Mrs B tried to find somebody capable of welding this on, but no joy. I've now stuck it on with the bodging paste of the professional, JB Weld . I might put a bit of wire around the valve, just in case it falls off in service!

Progress made in the last 24 hours: all but essentials have been removed, exciting electrical and plumbing bodges discovered (the latter will need re-doing from scratch), tiles and wallpaper gone. Space to be made for a dishwasher. Everybody has been working on it today, even monkeyboy has been stripping wallpaper. Tomorrow: new kitchen should arrive. Priority will be replacing the floor, with the aim of having the new sink up and working by Friday evening. Else we'll be washing dishes in the bath.

At 4pm today (well, it was yesterday now) OPERATION KITCHEN officially began. First casualties were the vile green tiles around the cooker, closely followed by the wall cabinets and vile extractor hood. The new kitchen (Wickes TOPPEST QUALITY fast-buck-property-developer-style) should arrive Thursday. I don't want to do it though... I want to play Anno 1404 all day, every day, I love that game! Managing the cider production, knocking out some leather jerkins, exporting 20 tonnes of indigo... it's just lovely. I am not going to calculate how many hours I've spent on it recently.

There's been no proper holiday this year because of OPERATION KITCHEN but the boy and I had a couple of nights in Blackpool last week. I'd not been there since the mid 90s (when I left early in disgust), but I visited it as a child and loved it, so thought I'd give monkeyboy a chance to experience it. Surely it couldn't be as bad as Tenby or Yarmouth, could it? Actually... no, it was pretty good. The 1930s trams remain, the pleasure beach is still very good (which you now pay a single fee to enter, like other theme parks), the sea defenses are being imaginatively rebuilt and feature large pieces of modern art, and the weather was great. Unfortunately most of the bad bits remain; the nasty seafront hotels (ranging from sleazy to cheesy), rows of squalid chip shops, scruffy nightclubs, gaudy arcades (sometimes claiming to be 'casinos'), and souvenir tat shops. All place great emphasis on how cheap they are - clearly their patrons don't care much for quality. ...