Eunos Chump

Friday was the car control day at Finmere aerodrome with Mazda on Track.   This comprised 2 circuits made up of cones, full of very tight turns (some 180 degrees).  It was massive fun, and I covered 45km virtually sideways.  The car was perfect for this, turning in precisely but with huge oversteer on demand.  If it started to get away, I was able to floor it in 2nd and spin up both wheels.  I did a lot of pointless and smoky showboating, especially on the final lap when I ignored the cones and just did some doughnuts instead.  At £59 (with free cups of tea and BISCUITS), it was great value for money.  I swapped cars with another guy for a couple of laps, I drove his standard Mk2 (comfy, made mine look like a heap, but quite understeery) while he demolished a cone (slightly mangling the intercooler) in mine.  I only have this photo so far: Although the tyres were now in a shocking state (though still legal), it wasn't broken.  That came the following day... I was on the way hom

The exhaust manifold on the MX5 is cracked once more.  I've bodged it up with paste for the moment because I haven't got time to get it fixed before the car control day on Friday.  I'm pretty sure this is caused by the entire exhaust shifting about and stressing it, possibly because the clamp that secures the frontpipe to the engine has to be removed with the Greddy downpipe.  So I've made up a new one, using a 2.5" exhaust clamp and a strip of steel, secured to the bracket where the old clamp once lived.  I'll see how it holds up. The exhaust leak is causing the car to run rich, so I've rather rashly weakened off the entire fuel map to compensate.  I'll have to remember to check the AFRs before Friday! Boots News: there's a new Boots vid on YouTube, but frankly it's rubbish.  It's every musical cliche from the past 5 years compressed into a single track, very disappointing.  She's still very cute though, so I forgive her. Marshea

There's been a craze on my favourite forum (the amusing and authorative Autoshite ) for an ancient Sinclair Spectrum game called 'New Wheels John?'.  It's a text-based motor trading game, set in the early 80s, it's rubbish but strangely compelling.  Check out my selection of landmarks! I discovered the following facts about car trading: Nobody wants a Citroen GS after driving it Engines regularly fall out of Minis, but only cost £20 to replace The public are hateful, moaning time-wasters who get everything they deserve Honestly, I don't remember any game reducing me to shouting rude words out loud.  My business folded shortly after I took this screenshot, apparently I went mad, my wife left me and I ended up in the loony bin. I'm sure you're gagging for it, so you can get your very own copy of the game here , and I recommend the Fuse Spectrum emulator .  All free, of course, it's what your dual-core CPU was designed for! Mazda news:   after

Pillow News: my plutocratic pillow was soiled after just 2 days.  There was much anguish and gnashing of teeth at the time (I had to sleep on the sofa), but the cat is now a suspect.  The dog is already back in the house anyway, that's how tough on crime we are. Dental News: I broke a tooth on the fantastic baguette I was having for lunch.  Doesn't hurt thankfully, so it didn't ruin my feeding frenzy.

Although it was supposed to be Maserati day, it was gatecrashed by everything Italian - it was EXCELLENT.  Lots of Ferraris, but I only like the older ones, the new ones are too much GRRRRR LOOK AT ME!!  They bring to mind those grotesque bodybuilders wearing skimpy Speedos.  I could probably afford this one (if I sold the house... and the neighbours houses...) Top Trumps favourite, there was even a pair of period Elvis-style sunglasses on the dash Yes!  3 of them had turned up I is Joe Smooth !  Pretty cars, I like these Mondial autoshite... I like these too Surprisingly big in the metal, you'd climb up to get in it! Certainly not mint (the radio/cassette was secured to the transmission tunnel with a bungee cord) but lovely My favourite of the day.  I didn't use to like these (I always associated them with sweaty, small-time nightclub owners), but I'm coming around to them.  It was always the 328GTS for me but in this company the Dino 308's restrained l

The MX5 is STILL WORKING , that must be getting on for a month now.  I'm taking it to the Goodwood Breakfast Club tomorrow, mostly because it's a fine drive on a sunny Sunday morning but also because it's Maserati day.  I'm hoping this will lure out some of the fantastic 70's stuff, rather than a lot of tatty Biturbos and all their tedious modern stuff.  It would be nice if somebody pushed the definition and brought along a Citroen SM too - I badly want one of those. The Mazda hasn't actually seen much use recently as I've been working in London.  This means a lift to/from the station with Mrs B, and she's a tad grumpy of an evening... it's a bit like being driven by Michael Douglas in Falling Down . He just wants to get home, godammit! In other news: the dog took a leak over my pillows yesterday, though I didn't discover this until I'd actually put my head on them.  This would have led to the immediate termination of his employment co